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Monday, August 23rd, 2004

Time:12:49 pm.
Mood: bored.
Hey..remember me?

Its been so long..updating here is..weird. I'm a boy now..I go by Alyx..live my life completely as male. I moved to Brooklyn, and will be going to Pace University in like..2 weeks. Hot shit..right? Yeah..thought so..

OK..too weird..
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Saturday, January 3rd, 2004

Time:2:09 pm.
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Friday, November 29th, 2002

Time:1:14 pm.
Mood: curious.
Am I still on anyone's friends list?
Comments: Read 7 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, September 10th, 2002

Time:8:14 pm.
Mood: confused.
"Jen" misses my posts..Jen who?!
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, August 10th, 2002

Time:9:27 pm.
Mood: annoyed.
I'm deleting my journal..too much bull..enjoy your lives..

Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Time:12:19 pm.
Mood: hot.
I miss Erin..she'd probably think I'm a freak if I e-mailed her again though. ::shrug:: I probably will anyways..
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Time:8:55 am.
Yesterday I was just kinda bleh all day. It was the last day at camp. Got pushed into the pool and cut my foot. Um..at the end I went to go give Amanda a hug goodbye..and there was a whipped cream fight that started right behind me and i got covered..which my campers then took some and got it all in my face. Ride home I just slept. I was so tired. Then I was here for a while and then I went to the show. Gabby's cool..I should hang out with her more often. Saw Lauren and other people. I saw Harry..it was rad that I got to see him. Ummmm..then I came home..and talked to Christian just cause I was all sad and needed to..and then I passed out. And today I sign on and see my new happy poem. Thanks Heidi!!!! You cheered me up..::happy hugs back::

Anywho..Scott just called..growl..time for bowling.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, August 9th, 2002

Time:6:29 pm.
Mood: full.

That is all..
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Time:12:04 am.
Mood: sad.
Today was OK. Not much happened. Got to play tennis baseball. Got tips too. Group was OK..just kinda talked to Jen with Candace on my lap. Krystle got jealous. I loved it. Leann was there..that was cool since she DOESN'T HANG OUT WITH ME ANYMORE!!! Went to Denny's..so now me, Krystle, Candace, and Jen are THE lesbians..go us. Courtney and Heather came. That made me happy..I've missed my big lesbian sisters or whatever they are to me. God right now I don't know whats wrong with me. Its like rebound or something..EVERY grrl I see I wanna touch..its like 'rar..your hot' Maybe I'm desperate..maybe I'm horny..maybe I'm I don't know the hell what. I just..::sigh:: I really don't know anymore.

I need to be happy so I can write a happy poem..someone make me happy..
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, August 7th, 2002

Time:10:00 pm.
Mood: tired.
Today was..bleh. It was the social at camp today..so Brandy got me up on stage and made me dance. And we all know I can't dance but I still do it for fun..but it's usually kinda dirty..and it cant be dirty at camp..so it was funky. But they gave me nifty zebra glasses and beads and gave Leanna a good laugh. Then we had our show..which we did ultra super fast cause it looked like it was gonna rain. So then we went back to the social and since I only had 3 campers left..we all just played cards..heh. Then on the van we stopped at this sub and pizza place and a dunkin donut/baskin robins right next to it. That was nice. Came home. Then went to the mall with Christian. Saw Vanessa and her mommy. Proof that the gay community is too small. "There was this chick Ruth doing drag that in my junior year we had a band thing and she told this chick that didn't know I was gay to give me her number.." I just started laughing. Walked around..then went to Borders. A lot of people were there..yay. Then came home..saw Pip getting pulled over by cops..and now I'm home..and I need to shower..
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Tuesday, August 6th, 2002

Time:10:56 pm.
Mood: exhausted.
Today was nifty. Got a NOFX pick from Paul cause he had 2 from Saturday. Camp was OK I suppose. I got up on the trapeze all by myself! I was so proud. And then I stood up on it and Adrianne didn't even notice cause she was doing the ladder and she looked over and was all like O.O 'Your gonna kill yourself!' But yeah..I felt cool. And we decided that the 2 of us and Lisa should run Circus Camp next year..so it can be a nice little lesbian festival. Then I stayed at car pickup and picked on Shannon cause I'm nice. Came home..got ready in like 20 minutes..and drove downtown. Went to my little NCCJ thing. It was cool..talking to people about Metrotown and all that stuff. I wanna work there. Get to do neato stuff and get paid..woo. Saw Chilly, Arti, Lucy, Camilla, and De. So it was fun. Then talked my dad into getting some dinner. Then came home. Yay. I'm tired..

Lauren's cute..and funny..
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Time:7:12 am.
Mood: hungry.
Tonight I hafta talk in front of a lot of people for this NCCJ thing. I get to dress up. I like dressing up when it means pants and a nice guys shirt. ::shrug::

My random thought for today..one of them at least..
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Monday, August 5th, 2002

Time:10:58 pm.
Mood: full.
Today was OK. Camp..boring. Not many things happened. On the way home Paul bribed me with a giant Brisk to move to the back of the van so he could have the passenger van. No complaintes here. Came home..talked to Lauren for a while..Sara thinks I'm hot. I swear dude..a few weeks ago I said I was going on a break. Now all the grrls are like crawling out from underneath their rocks or something and being all like "hey..what's up?" Anywho..then had a board meeting. Fun shit..having Jill preach to us about responsibility. But I've been moved all the way up to Assistant Treasurer..woo go me. More stuff..then came home..chatted with Christian..showerd..and made potato skins. Yummm..
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, August 4th, 2002

Time:11:29 pm.
Mood: excited.
Oh yeah..and on the way to Christian's my mommy said I could pierce my eyebrow. I'm stoked. She's finally gonnt let me pierce something..
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Time:10:57 pm.
Mood: thoughtful.
Today was cool. Had a job interview at House of Smoothie and got it. I start next Sunday..yay. Went and saw Signs with Lily..it was a weird movie. Whatever. Then we talked for a bit and my mom picked me up. Went to Christian's..hung out for a little while..then Amanda came over. Then we went to group. Elyse, Lauren, Jose, and this Sara chick were there. Orlando, Keri, Angel, and Sarah were too. Chatted..Lauren kept putting like weeds in my hair and poking me with a little stick..so I was doing the same to her. Then group was over and me and Orlando went to Boston Market..and he was right..their chocolate cake is almost better than sex. Then we met up with Sarah, Keri, Christian, and Amanda at Jamba. Lauren called me and I walked around talking to her..found a pile of baracades. I saw all these blinky lights and I thought it was a bomb or something and I was gonna go try and break one of the blinky things off..but some guy was out there..so I just kept walking and talking..then got off the phone and sat back down with them. Chatted a bit. Then Orlando, Christian, and Amanda and I went to Publix. I got a really neato Buttercup balloon and a lemonade and then came home. And now I'm here. Wee...

Grrls are confusing..I feel like such a straight guy right now with them..I dunno. Yesterday I was thinking at Warped Tour and I just thought maybe I should take a break..maybe it would be best..but I dunno..I'm confused..
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Time:12:25 pm.
Mood: nervous.
Lastnight I woke up at 2:30 and I was reeeaaallly sick..I was in the middle of a dream about Lily too..it sucked! Now I have a job interview in 30 minutes and then a date..woo! I'm happy..today is going to rock..

001. FULL NAME: Randi
002. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? my middle name..after my great grandma
003. SCHOOL: Taravella
004. MASCOT: Trojan...::just kinda blinks::...::shakes head in shame::
005. NICKNAMES: Lyssy, Dude, Ze
006. BIRTHDAY: 1-15-86
007. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?: Ft. Lauderdale
008. AGE: 16
009. GRADE: 11
010. GPA: eek let's not go there
011. HEIGHT: 5'4
012. SHOE SIZE: 9
013. HAIR COLOR: brown
014. EYE COLOR: Brown
015. SIBLINGS: 1 sister..1 step sister and one step brother
016. LAST CD YOU BOUGHT: umm..good question?
018. LAST MOVIE YOU RENTED: Resident Evil
020. DO YOU ACTUALLY LIKE MATH: before geometry..yes
021. LAST MOVIE YOU BOUGHT: Render..but thats not really a movie..
023. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?: yes
024. IS HE OR SHE GOOD LOOKING? she's beautiful
025. FAVORITE ACTRESS: cheri oteri
026. FAVORITE ACTOR: Me! teehee Sorry..I'm wearing my drama club shirt
027. FAVORITE TV SHOW: six feet under..that changed from the last survey..didnt it?
028. FAVORITE SONG: theres a lot
029. FAVORITE FOOD: italian
030. FAVORITE COLOR: green
031. COOLEST FRIEND: Christian
032. NICEST FRIEND: hahaha..that's funny
033. HOTTEST FRIEND: Hmm..Jill
034. PRETTIEST FRIEND: Gotta go with Orlando..just to piss him off ^.^
035. FAV. FRIEND TO HANG WITH: Christian
036. FAVORITE ONLINE FRIEND: Alex..He talked to me the other day..he was all like 'dude...your just like me..have you come out as transgendered yet?' I thought it was funny..
040. FAV. CITY TO CHILL IN: Ft. Lauderdale I guess..everything sucks down here though
041. GUYS WITH OR WITHOUT HATS?: i dont care
042. FAV. Soda: celery..haha..actually..that stuff's ok
043. WORST FEAR: needles
045. BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD?: happiness
046. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?: loneliness

047. BILL CLINTON: better than Bush
048. OSAMA : ::shrug::
049. LINDA TRIPP: don't really care
050. PREMARITAL SEX: can't get married..can I? So you take a guess..
051. DRIVING DRUNK: fucked up
052. DOING DRUGS: your choice..dumbass
054. GUY BANDS: oooh hes so dreamy
055. DEATH: not yet..
056. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: thats what we call lust..dearies..
058. JERRY SPRINGER: ugh his show is anoying
059. RAPE: evil..
060. SUICIDE: stupid..
061. ASSISTED SUICIDE: god help the person feel better about themselves or something..
062. SOUTH PARK: ok..i guess
064. GIRLS WITH LOTS Of MAKEUP?: too much is gross..its like 'hey..can you take a few pounds off? id like to see PART of your face..if its at all possible'
065. GOD: "She was a beautiful, beautiful black woman" I love Ellen ^.^

066. Ryan: I think that's the neatest name for a little boy with spikey hair
067. Bob: Billy Boooobbbbb! I miss him..
068. Zach: saved by the bell<--haha yeah
069. Collin: the real world dude
070. Drew: moron
071. Kelly: old co-counselor
072. Stephanie: saw her yesterday..
073. Brian: saw him too
074. Jessica: eww..saw her too..yuck
075. Jason: Mullet/Fro thing
076. Megan: drum major
077. Carol: "This is Christmas Carol"
078. Heather: Courtney..you just can't say one without the other..
079. Aaron: Carter? My toes hurt..
080. Amy: Camper
081. Lisa: Old Supervisor..damn bitch
082. Will: Moonpie
083. Lauren: Saw her yesterday..
084. kala: nope
085. Cody: used to babysit a kid named Cody
086. Alyssa: bitch <---gee..thanks Jess...bitch
087. Victoria: this girl
088. April: that was when my pepto bismol expired x.x
089. Courtney: Heather
090. Melissa: Ferrick
091. Laura: my sister
092. Amanda: muffin
093. Alex: Yesterday..haha
094. Matt: Gay boi
095. Rocky: Road
096. Preston: nope
097. Jacob: he needs to come out

098. COKE OR PEPSI: pepsi
099. LAKE OR OCEAN: depends..i miss going to a lake..
100. TV OR RADIO: "Every now and then..I turn it on again..but it's great to see that the radio still sucks" I know I fucked that up..
102. BSB OR N'SYNC: neither
103. 1 PILLOW OR 2: 1 and a grrl
104. HOT OR COLD: cold
105. NICE OR MEAN: nice
106. JOCK OR BRAIN: neither
108. HUG OR KISS: kiss
109. SEX OR CHOCOLATE: I wanna watch better than Chocolate now..::shrug::
112. ADIDAS OR NIKE: adidas
114. JEN OR JOEY: jen
115. RED OR BLUE: red
117. CARNIVAL OR AMUSEMENT PARK: amusement park
118. MACS OR IBM'S: ibm
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Saturday, August 3rd, 2002

Time:10:50 pm.
Mood: tired.
Today was..OK..I guess. Woke up at like 9:30 and came home. Filled out my application for Metrotown 2. Then Paul showed up..then Scott picked us up. Drove to Warped..found Christian and stood in line with him. Went in. I didn't like it this year. I wish I would've hung around with different people. Like at one point I found myself sitting on a hill with Scott and just being depressed. Saw Krystle at one point..with Kandace (sp?). Karma's gonna bite her HARD in the ass one day..and I'm gonna laugh my ass off. Saw Paige too, and Heidi, and Wallflowers, and Rachel, and Elyse. I haven't seen Elyse since before she moved so it was awesome seeing her. The bands were good. I loved Reel Big Fish. They rocked. NOFX was good, too..even though I wasn't really watching them. I made some pins..found a pic of Ani in a magazine and made one of her..and the guy from prodigy..and a word bubble with 'Cheer up!' inside. And one that said 'Guess my gender $1' One guy got it right and 2 got it wrong. And 2 others that rock. Got a cool shirt and patches from poistive-youth. I was stoked when I saw their tent there. At then end I just sat with Christian cause I was said. And I noticed Lily called and that really cheered me up. She's cute. Now my mommy's making me dinner and I'm gonna do a neato survey I stole from Jessi..well..part of it..

Name: Alyssa
You like it?: Eh..something more androgynous would be funner..
Nicknames: Lyssy..Dude..Ze

Screen names: IchLiebeAni, GeekOfTheWeek
Age: 16
Birthday: jan 15
Born at: Holy Cross Hospital
School: Taravella
Status: ^.^
Crush: On Lily..
Virgin?: Technically..
Natural hair color: brown
Current hair color: brown
Eye color: brown
Height: 5'4
Birthplace: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Shoe size: 8 1/2 or 9

[ family ]

Parents: Guy and Tenley
Siblings: Laura, Robyn, and Casey
Favorite relative: Andrea..even though she's not really a relative..

[ favorites ]

Numbers: 4
Color: green
Day: I dunno..I'm lookin forward to this Wednesday though..
Month: July
Song: Hmm..::shrug::
Movie: There's a few..
Food: Italian..
Band: Nirvana
Season: summer
Sport: baseball
Class: drama
Teacher: Lee
Drink: lime gatorade
Veggie: i dunno..
TV Show: brak show
Radio Station: 88.5 103.1 92.1 94.9
Store: Hot Topic..but not for shopping..
Word: ::shrug::
Animal: gecko
Flower: yellow rose
State: ::shrug::

[ this or that ]

Me/You: us
Coke/pepsi: pepsi
Day/night: night
Aol/aim: aim
Cd/cassette: cd
Dvd/vhs: dvd
Jeans/khakis: jeans
Car/truck: truck
Tall/short: tall
Lunch/dinner: i just ate dinner..
NSYNC/BSB: neither
Britney/Christina: Ani
Gap/Old Navy: i guess old navy
Lipstick/Lipgloss: Guttermouth played Lipstick today..they were good..
Silver/Gold: silver
Alcohol/Weed: ugh neither

[ love and relationships ]

Do you have a bf/gf?: gimme sometime..hopefully I will soon..
Do you have a crush?: yup
How long have you liked him/her?: couple of weeks
Why do you like this person?: She's great to talk to..fun to be around..and her eyes! I could drown in them..they're so beautiful..
If you're single... why are you single?: Because I want to go on a date before I ask her out..
How long was your longest relationship?: 3 months
How long was your shortest relationship?: heh..2 days..
Who was your first love?: Ashleigh
What do you miss about them?: the feeling i got when i was with her..but other than that...nothing
[ the past ]

What is the one thing you would change about your past?: i wouldnt..
What is the biggest mistake you've made in your life?: trying to go out with Kevin so damn hard
Last thing you heard: a commercial from the other room
Last thing you saw: the computer
Last thing you said: I sang happy birthday to my sister
Who is the last person you saw?: my mom
Who is the last person you kissed?: Lily
Who is the last person you hugged?: Heidi? or Elyse..one of the two..
Who is the last person you fought with?: my sister
What is the last TV show you saw?: real world was on lastnight..but i was like half asleep hoping Lily would call..
What is the last song you heard?: Pearl Jam on the way home..

[ the present ]

What are you wearing?: Red shirt and flannel boxers
What are you doing?: a survey
Who are you talking to?: Jessi
What song are you listening to?: im not listening to music
Where are you?: the back room
Who are you with?: um..my mom's in the living room..
Are you online?: yes
How are you feeling?: Kinda sad..
Are you in a chatroom?: no

[ future ]

What day is it tomorrow?: sunday
What are you going to do after this?: probably plug in my phone..
Who are you going to talk to?: ::shrug::
Where are you going to go?: my room
How old will you be when you graduate?: 18
What do you wanna be?: Professional Techie
What is one of your dreams?: Live in a loft in P-town when I'm 23

[ have you ever ]

Drank?: yes
Smoked? yes
Had intercrouse?: yes
Stolen?: no
Done anything illegal?: yes
Wanted to die?: yes
Hit someone?: Yea

[ other ]

Do you write in cursive or print?: print
Are you a lefty or a righty?: righty
What is your sexual orientation?: Grrls
What piercings do you have?: none..I'm trying to talk my mom into letting my pierce my eyebrow
Do you drive?: 5 months and I can..
Do you have glasses or braces?: no..wow I hafta put my whitening strips in
Did you like this survey?: sure
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, August 2nd, 2002

Time:11:26 pm.
Mood: sleepy.

How Does *Your* Dick Rate?

Haha..thats funny. Anywho..today was cool. Camp was tiring. Blue lost color war. The one year I'm on it. Oh well. I'm so tired At car pick up Shannon was like 'Hey grrls..don't you think Alyssa should stay? Make her stay' So my campers attacked me..stole my glasses..then my bag..then my bandana. Growl. So then I told Shannon she was evil and left. Way home was fun.. Got there..hung around for a little while. Then came over Christian's. Walked to blockbuster with him and Amanda..got Resident Evil. Then went to Miami subs. Got some food. Tried Rocky Road ice cream..figured since the grrl I'm interested in's favorite kind I had to. But they were telling me thats the depressed ice cream. One Sweet Whirled is the depressed ice cream. So we came back and ate..and watched the movie. Dude I freaked out..I was scared. And the grrl was trying to be some bad ass bulldyke..it was funny. Then Amanda left. I went upstairs and started thinking. I played with his Zen garden earlier..I love that thing. I feel so artistic or something. Now I'm here..sleeping over..

Warped Tour is tomorrow! I'm sad though..I think I would rather go see Lily play. ::shrug:: I'll see her Wednesday.
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Time:12:22 am.
Mood: giggly.
So..yeah..wow. Today was..amazing. Camp was fun. The annual boat race was today..and being a counselor I got to do it this year. It was great..we were in the lead..but then some of our idiots don't know how to row. So they were a little behind us and I got in..they pushed us off and I fell back in the boat. Got lake water all over me..it was gross..but being the strong bull dyke that i am..I pulled ahead..and twice a group on the red team flipped their boat. So yeah..blue one. Yayy.. Rest of the day was OK..got to go to a full 40 minutes of circus that the red didn't know we had to go to..so it was just like 6 of us..it was nice. Then dodgeball..then I came home. Sat around..then went to group. Elections..joy..I had to leave right after them though..since my only ride was Lily and she got there around 8:15. So she picked me up and we went to Borders..took us a while..but we got there. The little sheet that says she's performing said she played accoustic guitar..but she doesn't. So I grabbed 'em all and corrected them..so they now say Keyboard instead. Then we sat next to the intercoastal and I acted all nerdy and well..yeah. : ) Then we had to leave super speedy fast cause she was late. She got in trouble..I feel bad. But..wow..tonight..was amazing..

Anod now I'm going to sleep..yay.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, July 31st, 2002

Time:7:47 pm.
Mood: amused.

Now..she pulled it off..but yeah..she needed to tape her boobs..i can still see 'em..maybe I'm stupid though..::shrug::

Now..she doesn't pull it off. Just..no..sorry Sarah..with all that 'I must say I looked pretty good' But..no. Wow..I really wanna be in a drag show. Whatever happened to the boi band thing, Courtney? I wanna be a boi.
Comments: Add Your Own.

LiveJournal for your favorite Transgender.

View:User Info.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.